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Video Of Tom Brady Eating Shit While Skiing Will Give Everyone In New England A Heart Attack

Tom Brady, currently 39 years old, has expressed his desire to play professional football until he’s driving a motorized cart up a wall and trusting his heart to Lipitor. Brady is notoriously obsessive over keeping his body primed to last–sticking to a diet of all-natural and whole foods, going to sleep at 9 pm, not drinking alcohol, avoiding heaving weight lifting, and constantly working on his flexibility to make his muscles “strong, but soft.”

That’s why it came as a bit of a shock to find out that Brady would be willing to strap his reconstructed knee to a couple long sticks and glide down a mountain, knowing the fate of Sonny Bono.

Brady was obviously feeling himself when he decided to hit a jump with zero technique. He uploaded the video of him eating shit and getting ejected from his skis, presumably in an effort to make all of New England hold their breath.

Hey Tom. Speaking on behalf of everyone in New England, please get the hell off the slopes, into the lodge, and drink a coconut water with some fucking acai berries or something. Fun’s over.

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